Where has the time gone?

Wow! I can't believe it's August! And I can't believe my last post was June 17! What have I been doing? Summer seems to fly by. Life is somehow busier because I try to cram so much more living into the warmer months. Some of the activities of this summer have been:

• Helping my mother in law move to a simpler and more manageable life
• Going out on our daughter and son in law's boat a couple of times
• Watching the fireworks from said boat
• Having a reunion with two high school friends I hadn't seen in a very long time
• Driving to Colorado with my Honey to see the western part of my family
• Trying to sell a house in a bad economy
• Visiting one of my favorite places, South Haven, Michigan and the big lake
• Sneezing and sneezing and sneezing - my allergies are really bad this year

I was laid off from my job last March, and it has been so nice to be at home this summer. I left with just a little chip on my shoulder thinking "they just won't survive without me" and "surely this is the beginning of their demise." Well, I found out this week that the Market where I was the Marketing Director is closing it's doors the beginning of September. I also learned something about myself which pleased me. I thought I would be happy to hear this announcement. Sort of a "served you right" kind of an attitude. And justifiably so, but that was not my reaction. I reacted with sadness and remorse. In just three years this wonderful destination went from the promise of growth and prosperity for all involved to slinking off into the regretful memories of all those who were caught up in the hope of something new. I compare this failure with another colossal man-made awe inspiring debacle...the Titanic. While there were no lives lost in this local venture, the demise came about because of some of the same elements - greed, pride, and self-serving individuals who never had any notion of what it meant to work together as a team in order to protect those who entrusted their lives to their self-promoting expertise. That, and the lack of a workable plan. Well, maybe it's not such a great comparison, but you get my drift.

Anyway, I was glad to realize that my spirit does not rejoice over how the "mighty have fallen." I merely feel sad at what could have been something really special and now will be no more.

Stuff

I decided to lighten it up a little bit. Hope you like the new look!



I can't believe it's almost the end of June and this is my first post in June. Well, I believe I have a good reason and this reason has given me some life lessons.



This month my husband and I have been helping to prepare his mother for a big move. His dad passed away very unexpectedly last February and just having to learn to live without him has been a huge adjustment for Mom. They would have celebrated 60 years together in April. We felt that she was doing very well, relying heavily on her belief that he is now in a perfect place and soon she will join him there. The unfortunate reality though was that her children had to urge her to consider a move to a smaller and "her stage of life friendly" environment. Due to her health and physical limitations this move consideration became imminent and much too quickly for Mom.



About a month ago we began pulling things out of the attic, going through the garage and treasure hunting in the basement which stirred up a whole lot more than just dust. We began to see some real anxiety surfacing. We heard comments like, "you're selling my life away," and "this is my life in those boxes." It made me very sad because while I did understand her reluctance to let go, there was part of me that could not accept that the equation of her life was a bunch of stuff sitting in boxes for who knows how long with a 3 inch layer of dust on top of them.



Please don't get me wrong. I felt compassion, but I wanted to say and maybe I did...this stuff is not your life! Your life is made up of the people who are around you right now...the very people who are irritating you at this very moment!



We will move her this weekend, and she will take with her the dearest things. So many old love letters, photographs and trinkets will be packed up and placed in a storage unit. These things should be preserved, but they are best preserved in the loving people who resulted from her life.



Thinking about all of this has given me reason to pause and ask myself if I am clinging to "stuff" instead of celebrating the dear people I love so much. When I am looking at the last years of my life, it is my hope that the "things" that represent my life will not have to be dusted off to be remembered. They will be with me every moment until my very last moment.

The art of doing nothing

We are all so busy all the time! Rushing here and there, doing this and that, everything demands attention right now! We are all slaves to our schedules. And it's sad because so much is lost in the busy-ness. I wonder how much depth of our characters and relationships is sacrificed for the sake of our busy lives.

Some of it can't be avoided, I know. But in the middle of it all I challenge you to think about practicing the art of doing nothing at all. It takes practice, believe me!

I do have a little more time on my hands these days, and I must admit that at first I felt guilty if my day wasn't full and every moment found my hands busy. At the end of every day I needed to know that I had done something productive. But now I am learning the art of doing nothing. I am becoming quite good at it really! Oh, don't worry! I still get things done. But in those moments when I have nothing at all needing my attention, I am learning to smile and embrace it...to revel in it...to bask in it. I resist turning on the TV or checking email. I just savor the absolute luxury of having nothing to do. It is in these moments I hear the voice of God. It's almost like He's been waiting for this all along. And when I hear His voice, and I know His presence, I realize that I have been waiting for this all along too!

Who you really are

When I got laid off a month or so ago I went through a storm of emotions. I was hurt that they felt they could function without me. Don't we all think that our position is the most important one of all? I should know better by now, I know. But it still hurts. I was sad that financially the place was a disaster and the decisions being made were not helping the situation. I was also sad that it seemed like all my efforts over the last almost two years didn't seem to be valued or even to have made much of a difference. I was disappointed that my belief and defence of the place in the media and to the general public proved to be in vain. I was wrong. They were all right. The joke is on me!



BUT - and this is a huge but...I also felt so much relief, and I almost thanked them for giving me an "out." What I had experienced pretty much the entire time I worked there was way more stress than I need or want in my life. It was constant drama, confusion and doubt. There was no consistency, and nothing was certain...ever. No, I'm not exaggerating. It could have been the best job I've ever had because I loved what I did, but it really was a nightmare because of horrible management.



Anyway my relief has turned into a much greater gift. When I talked to my son on the phone after I had told him I was no longer employed he said, "Well, Mom, now you can go back to being who you really are." The stress had stolen my peace, my creativity and my true purpose. I was not placed on this earth to merely survive - to just get through one more day.



Who I really am is someone who needs to express herself purposefully. Thus...this blog. And with time to think, time to express myself, time to be all that I was meant to be I have started something I have always wanted to do. I am writing. I love it and I will continue to do it until the day I die. Just because it is who I am. And who knows? There may be a book in the works too!

Out of a life of pain and disappointment

The other day I watched a Hallmark movie about Bill and Lois Wilson. I usually like to catch Hallmark movies because they are always inspirational and the commercials make me cry! I love the commercials! I didn't have a clue who Bill and Lois Wilson were, but I knew it would be a good story.

Well, it was a good story, and I did cry. I was inspired by a seemingly ordinary woman who loved a man, but whose love and devotion went way beyond any vows she may have made when she married him. Just like every new wife her life with him began with hopes and dreams for a wonderful life together. But it turned out to be a nightmare of disappointments and pain. She lost everything that made life meaningful - her home, her ability to have children, her career and her love for her husband. Her husband was an alcoholic. She was advised to leave the marriage and "make something of her life." But she stayed, and despite her disbelief in his promises to "lick this thing" she continued to fight for the possibility of "them." My admiration for her faith and determination is nothing compared to the ultimate impact her faith has had on our world.


I don't know what caused Bill Wilson to become addicted to alcohol. According to the movie he seemed to be a man who couldn't accept failure or set backs. He turned to alcohol, and it was only when he accepted his failure and recognised his need for a power much greater than his own that he was able to "lick this thing" and become the man his newly personalized, Holy God intended him to be.


In 1951, they began to have meetings with others who shared their struggle. Out of this huge, gaping, putrid wound came Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon.


Out of your wound will come your genius.


And through their genius millions of lives have been helped. Let's make it personal. AA has helped someone in my family and understanding this story made me fully appreciate the sacrifices it took for that to happen. I am grateful for the gift of their wound.

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I believe that people are good if you give them half a chance and that good is more powerful than evil. The world seems to me excruciatingly, almost painfully beautiful at times, and the goodness and kindness of people often exceed that which even I expect. - Lois Wilson

The Initiation of the Wound

I didn't feel like I had truly "grown up" until I understood that life is painful, and I could handle it. In my naivete I believed that I was supposed to be happy and pain free, and as I struggled against the disappointment of the reality I lived, I became aware that I was creating for myself a life which was farther and farther from any kind of comfort I could and would enjoy. In other words, I was deepening my wound. I realized that from the time I was a child I had received wounds, and it is how I reacted to them that pretty much determined who I was.

I'm reading a book right now called, Iron John - A Book About Men. It is a fascinating read. It is helping me to understand the male psyche, which I believe is so much more complicated than the female. Just my humble FEMALE opinion, but if you read this book, I think you may agree. The author, Robert Bly, writes about how men are wounded most often by their fathers and how a wound must happen in order for a boy to be a man. But the wound received can be delivered in a positive deliberate way or in a negative passive way. What captured my attention was his statement in chapter two which says, "where a man's wound is, that is where his genius will be." He goes on to say that "wherever the wound appears....that is precisely the place for which we will give our major gift to the community." He gives several examples of men who did just that. I'm sure we can all think of several examples of men and women where this is true as well.

The exercise of this blog will focus on the genius or the "gift" of the wound to the community...sometimes from my ordinary life and sometimes from people whose community is a bit larger than mine. It is intended to encourage the growth of character, the enjoyment of life and expand our perspectives beyond the obvious.