Out of a life of pain and disappointment

The other day I watched a Hallmark movie about Bill and Lois Wilson. I usually like to catch Hallmark movies because they are always inspirational and the commercials make me cry! I love the commercials! I didn't have a clue who Bill and Lois Wilson were, but I knew it would be a good story.

Well, it was a good story, and I did cry. I was inspired by a seemingly ordinary woman who loved a man, but whose love and devotion went way beyond any vows she may have made when she married him. Just like every new wife her life with him began with hopes and dreams for a wonderful life together. But it turned out to be a nightmare of disappointments and pain. She lost everything that made life meaningful - her home, her ability to have children, her career and her love for her husband. Her husband was an alcoholic. She was advised to leave the marriage and "make something of her life." But she stayed, and despite her disbelief in his promises to "lick this thing" she continued to fight for the possibility of "them." My admiration for her faith and determination is nothing compared to the ultimate impact her faith has had on our world.


I don't know what caused Bill Wilson to become addicted to alcohol. According to the movie he seemed to be a man who couldn't accept failure or set backs. He turned to alcohol, and it was only when he accepted his failure and recognised his need for a power much greater than his own that he was able to "lick this thing" and become the man his newly personalized, Holy God intended him to be.


In 1951, they began to have meetings with others who shared their struggle. Out of this huge, gaping, putrid wound came Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon.


Out of your wound will come your genius.


And through their genius millions of lives have been helped. Let's make it personal. AA has helped someone in my family and understanding this story made me fully appreciate the sacrifices it took for that to happen. I am grateful for the gift of their wound.

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I believe that people are good if you give them half a chance and that good is more powerful than evil. The world seems to me excruciatingly, almost painfully beautiful at times, and the goodness and kindness of people often exceed that which even I expect. - Lois Wilson

The Initiation of the Wound

I didn't feel like I had truly "grown up" until I understood that life is painful, and I could handle it. In my naivete I believed that I was supposed to be happy and pain free, and as I struggled against the disappointment of the reality I lived, I became aware that I was creating for myself a life which was farther and farther from any kind of comfort I could and would enjoy. In other words, I was deepening my wound. I realized that from the time I was a child I had received wounds, and it is how I reacted to them that pretty much determined who I was.

I'm reading a book right now called, Iron John - A Book About Men. It is a fascinating read. It is helping me to understand the male psyche, which I believe is so much more complicated than the female. Just my humble FEMALE opinion, but if you read this book, I think you may agree. The author, Robert Bly, writes about how men are wounded most often by their fathers and how a wound must happen in order for a boy to be a man. But the wound received can be delivered in a positive deliberate way or in a negative passive way. What captured my attention was his statement in chapter two which says, "where a man's wound is, that is where his genius will be." He goes on to say that "wherever the wound appears....that is precisely the place for which we will give our major gift to the community." He gives several examples of men who did just that. I'm sure we can all think of several examples of men and women where this is true as well.

The exercise of this blog will focus on the genius or the "gift" of the wound to the community...sometimes from my ordinary life and sometimes from people whose community is a bit larger than mine. It is intended to encourage the growth of character, the enjoyment of life and expand our perspectives beyond the obvious.